The idea that the answer is phrased in the form of a question appeals to me both as a Jeopardy enthusiast and a leadership coach.
That’s because, as a coach, my clients often arrive with their answer sitting right between us. It’s right there, nestled in the question they ask. (I’ll take Coaching Paradoxes for $2000, Alex!)
Clients come to our coaching sessions already having done half their work. They come with a curiosity, an itch, an inkling. Maybe it’s a promotion they want to pursue, a pivot in career path they want to explore, or a difficult personnel decision they feel they need insight on.
Sometimes, in the question, we get hints as to what’s holding them back.
- The belief that they don’t deserve it.
- The feeling of not knowing where to start.
- The worry of what others will think.
- The fear that it could come true.
Sometimes, in the question, we see glimpses of what’s possible ahead.
- Through deeply rooted values they mention.
- From long-held but seldom spoken dreams they finally vocalize.
- When what the client wants most starts to emerge.
Although they might think they’re just asking the question, I often nudge them that they’re actually and finally saying the answer out loud.
And from here, we can start our work. Sometimes, transformation comes from simply saying “it” out loud, “it” being whatever that seldom spoken dream is. Sometimes, it’s about delving into their limiting beliefs, and setting them aside to begin the work. Maybe it’s developing a game plan of Being & Doing – how the client wants to show up in the pursuit (Being), and what specific steps they can take to get the ball rolling (Doing).
The beauty of coaching is that we never know where we might go in a conversation. No matter the process, there’s no debate about where it all starts. It starts with that all important question, full of insight into where the client wants to go, and how we get there.
Be mindful about the questions that emerge in your thoughts. Be curious and not judgmental. There is incredible power and insight within them. We just need to listen carefully, and subtly folded into the question, we’ll find the beginnings of our answer.
And then, the real work (and real fun) begins!
