5 Questions to Help Decide if Executive Coaching is Right (Now) for You
One of the paradoxes of leadership is that the further you go and the higher you climb, the lonelier it gets.
Rewarded for results and impact throughout your career with increasingly broader scope and bigger roles, you likely have fewer “safe spaces” to go for counsel and support. So if you’re feeling stuck, an executive coach can play a role on your personal “Board of Directors,” serving as a sounding board and mirror for the things inside you that need to come out.
But executive coaching isn’t something to be taken lightly. It’s a significant investment – of time, money and energy. The timing isn’t always right. Not every coach’s energy is right for you. Just as not every client is the right fit for me.
Here are 5 questions to ask yourself and a prospective coach to help you decide if coaching, and this coach, is right for you.
1. What’s Bringing Me to Coaching Now?
If you’ve taken the first step of typing “Executive Coach” in your search bar or asking around for a trusted name, there’s a reason why. Maybe there’s a gap in your leadership game or a fear that’s weighing heavier by the day. Maybe there’s a wildly bold vision you have, or a curiosity that won’t let go of you. Either way, there’s a “Point A” where you are today, and a “Point B” you are feeling drawn to.
Find the quiet to tap into what’s sparking you. Ask yourself “What’s the change I most need now?” Gaining clarity on the change you’re seeking is critical to being able to articulate your goals to a prospective coach.
2. What Time & Priority Am I Willing to Commit?
Let’s be honest – by virtue of the role you hold, you’re already likely pulled in different directions, and your inbox is already filled with #1 priorities. For coaching to really work, it needs to be one of them.
While each coaching engagement varies, I generally find that consistency and cadence create a rhythm of success. Be prepared to block an hour every couple of weeks and treat it as sacred time in your calendar. Tell your EA that, in the face of conflicts, everything else on your calendar moves first. Value yourself, and your coaching conversations, as a non-negotiable commitment to your own leadership health. Maybe it’s helpful to set a recurring time and day of the week with your coach. Maybe you set your coaching calendar at the beginning of each month when your travel plans are set. However you make it happen, be prepared to commit the time.
3. Am I Willing to Let Go?
Another common dynamic with executives is that they’re accustomed to driving the pace, controlling the flow, and making the calls. Ceding control, lowering one’s guard, and not always knowing what comes next, as uncomfortable as it sounds, is actually a key step in the coaching dance. As your coach, I don’t have a 5 step plan or a tried and true formula that I rinse and repeat with every client. Each engagement is unique.
We’re going to explore topics together, and “dance in the moment” based on what you need in the moment. Sometimes, that means tapping into a tool or assessment that gives us tangible data to digest. And sometimes it means tapping into uncomfortable silence or difficult emotions, with no idea of what comes next. Are you truly willing to let go, and dance? Because that’s where transformation takes place.
4. What Do I Need?
For any coaching relationship to work, both coach and client need to prepared to show up and deliver from day one. It starts with what we call “Designing the Alliance” when we set mutual ground rules up front, and it’s critical that you speak up for what you need.
How do you need your coach to hold you accountable? Would you like a friendly nudge at the beginning of each call to check in on your commitments? How do you like to receive feedback? Candid and blunt, or a little less direct? Can your coach interrupt to draw your attention to an observation, or is that irritating for you? Is your company a Teams vs. a Zoom shop? Details matter and setting these ground rules early on is key.
In the early days of my coaching, I’d debrief with clients at the end of their engagements, asking what worked well, and what they wish they’d had more of. One insight they shared – they knew I had lived 25 years of corporate life prior to becoming a coach, and many wished I’d have shared a little more of that. Now, that’s a question I ask in chemistry calls to align upfront – do I have permission, when relevant, to share an experience of my own? (and I’ll always bring it right back around to coaching)
If you are selecting a coach based on an expectation or need for something specific, be sure to clearly ask for it from session #1.
5. Why Do I Really Care?
Many of my clients are identified as HIPO’s (High Potentials) and are on the fast track to succession and promotion. We’d be naive to think that isn’t part of what might be bringing them to coaching now. (see question #1) But question #5 is your nudge to dig deeper, and to understand why you really care.
What’s the impact you most want to create, beyond the bottom line? What are the relationships you want to create, the work you want to thrive in, and the fulfillment you want to savor? There’s a visualization exercise I do with clients, where we envision a “celebration party” being held just for them, at an advanced stage of their life. We imagine who’s there, and what they thank or acknowledge the client for. What would YOU want to hear at your party? And what values are critical for you to live each day to ensure those words are spoken, when all is said and done?
If you’re not quite sure how to answer that just yet, not to worry.
That’s a perfect sign, telling you the time may be NOW for an executive coach.
