I love full circle moments, and this story is one. It starts back in 1998, as I was preparing to write my valedictorian speech for the Class of ’98 at the Ivey Business School. An avid reader on the hunt for inspiration, I stumbled upon the book “Running from Safety” by Richard Bach, who also wrote Jonathan Livingston Seagull. I’ve always believed the universe serves us up just the right thing when we put the right question out there and wait for fate to find our proverbial inbox. That book, at that moment, was it.
The book is essentially a conversation between the elder Richard and Dickie, his younger 9-year-old self, with Richard imparting his accumulated wisdom on his younger student/self. One passage stopped me in my tracks back then, so much so that it shaped the climax of my speech and message to my classmates. Because I didn’t want any of us to die from “so what?”
These words have run through my head for 28 years. Essentially, Richard quizzes Dickie, asking him how his life unfolds when he does everything everyone else expects of him. Go to school, graduate, get a job, get married, have kids, help them through school, retire, give to charity, abide by the law, be kind to animals…and then listen to your last words. SO WHAT.
Not to say those aren’t all admirable goals and milestones…if you thoughtfully and mindfully choose them for yourself. But if you choose them simply to choose safety, and acceptance from others, rather than choosing what YOU love, then your final words really could end up being “So what?” And that has always terrified me.
I believe we have just this one life to live. And as much as we may value and care about the opinions and validation of those in our life at this very moment, those folks may very well come and go. WE, alone, are the constant. And so it’s for ourselves that we should choose the work, the friendships, the relationships, the life we want to live. It’s to ourselves that we need to be honest, and accountable. And if the life we’re living and the choices we’re making are filling us with the words “So what?”, then it’s time for us to choose a different life, and “chase it top speed”, in Bach’s words.
This mantra has whispered to me my whole life. It led me to graduate unemployed and stick it out to land a job in sports with the NHL. It nudged me to leave the safety of Nestle Canada for the excitement and creativity of Roger Edwards Sport, a move that opened up 18 years with CCM, Reebok and adidas. And it drove me to follow the breadcrumbs to executive coaching and to create Voce Leadership, despite the security and certainty that the corporate world still held for me. Now, it fuels me to help my clients pursue their deepest passions, and to discover their inner voice as leaders, and as humans. I want their last word, as I do mine, to be a resounding “YES!”
And now, for the full circle moment. I mentioned I’m an avid reader, and I was in the middle of reading The Correspondent, by Virginia Evans. In it, the quirky main character Sybil writes letters to everyone – acquaintances, friends, even random authors whose books she’s read. I won’t spoil it…it’s delightful and worth the read, and it inspired me to follow suit. I’d been replaying Richard Bach’s words in my head for basically my entire working life, and finally reached out to let him know.
We’ve had a warm, brief exchange on Instagram. (follow him here: Richard Bach IG) I let him know how his words stuck with me, and how they’ve shaped many of those critical decisions in my life. And I always get a little kick when I see that he’s liked one of my sunrise or sunset pics. I like to think we both know they represent me deciding not to choose safety as my ambition.
So what can you do with this winding story? Take a chance today! Write that note. Shoot your shot. Reflect on the life you’re living, and the choices you’re making. Are those choices leading to that final word of “YES!”? Or possibly, and sadly, “So What?”
And if it’s the latter, we should talk. Because I live for the chance to help others run from safety, and to the life they were meant to live.
